31 October, 2012

Trying to Keep Your Child Safe Online...

First of all, please see my entry on my site for the class at talbotmrstuart.blogspot.com. I've an important post on cyberbullying and what to do about it. I've also given the kids lots of ways to stay safe online and a few links to the best websites I've found.

But also, just for you, is this below.
It is sound advice from the Irish 'Sticks and Stones' Anti-Bullying Programme. A representative, Patricia Kennedy, wrote the following words in the Irish Daily Mail on October 31, 2012.

"Cyberbullying is NOT 24/7; it's only 24/7 if a child is allowed access to their phone or the internet. Don't let your own ignorance get in the way of common sense. A simple rule is 'no phones after bedtime.' Have a drawer in the kitchen that all phones are left in.

... Try turning off the wifi when you are going to bed to make sure there are no 3am online arguments. The anti-bullying initiative I represent, Sticks and Stones, work with children from all backgrounds, from designated disadvantaged schools to fee-paying schools, and we are constantly surprised at the level of innocence that most children have in relation to the 'friends' they make online.

They don't think there are any dangers involved in chatting with strangers online, and they don't think there are any repercussions involved for them regarding what they post.

... In our anti-bullying workshops, children tell us one of the reasons they don't 'tell' about bullying is that parents 'overreact'. Don't be that parent.

If your child tells you that they are being bullied -- don't lose your temper; above all don't threaten to take their phone or internet access away -- you're just guaranteeing they'll never tell you anything again.

Remain calm and ask questions -- who, what, why, where, when. Get the facts, write it down, keep the text/phone messages or take a screen shot from the computer so you are informed when you approach the school, internet or phone provider, or gardaĆ­.

Talk to your children; let them know they can talk to you; keep the channels of communication open."


And here is some great advice from the USA's Federal Department of Health... 


Be Aware of What Your Kids are Doing Online
Talk with your kids about cyberbullying and other online issues regularly.
Know the sites your kids visit and their online activities. Ask where they’re going, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with.
Tell your kids that as a responsible parent you may review their online communications if you think there is reason for concern. Installing parental control filtering software or monitoring programs are one option for monitoring your child’s online behaviour, but do not rely solely on these tools.
Have a sense of what they do online and in texts. Learn about the sites they like. Try out the devices they use.
Ask for their passwords, but tell them you’ll only use them in case of emergency.
Ask to “friend” or “follow” your kids on social media sites or ask another trusted adult to do so.
Encourage your kids to tell you immediately if they, or someone they know, is being cyberbullied. Explain that you will not take away their computers or cell phones if they confide in you about a problem they are having.
Establish Rules about Technology Use
Establish rules about appropriate use of computers, mobile phones, and other technology. For example, be clear about what sites they can visit and what they are permitted to do when they’re online. Show them how to be safe online.
Help them be smart about what they post or say. Tell them not to share anything that could hurt or embarrass themselves or others. Once something is posted, it is out of their control whether someone else will forward it.
Encourage kids to think about who they want to see the information and pictures they post online. Should complete strangers see it? Real friends only? Friends of friends? Think about how people who aren’t friends could use it.
Tell kids to keep their passwords safe and not share them with friends. Sharing passwords can compromise their control over their online identities and activities.



I hope you've found at least one good tip above to help you try to keep your child safe online.

30 October, 2012

To Begin, Here's A List of Sites You May Well Find Relevant



Hi!

This site is in its infancy. I'll work on it and it'll gradually improve: let me know at the parent-teacher meetings how you'd like to see it develop; thanks! 


Anyhow, to begin, here's the beginning of a list of sites you may well find relevant to your parenting:



(A) Bullying/'Being Safe on the Internet' Sites
  • Firstly, it's important for you to know that I've posted about this in child-friendly language on my blog for the class (1) Cyberbullying (2) Being Safe Online. The websites here below are for you, not them. 
  • webwise.ie (see the Parents section). This is especially important to help us stamp out cyberbullying when it begins. We won't stop all of it beginning, but we can stop a lot of it through educating the kids just how much pain cyberbullying causes. And we also can do our best to stamp out cyberbullying quickly when it does begin: How? Find out on webwise.ie
  • https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/parentsguide/ has a couple of good videos. The 'Parents and Carers Guide' one is best from the 8th minute on. Give it a go; I think you'll find some good stuff: good information for you (bullying, strangers, sexualisation of children) AND good tips in how to talk to your kids about all this. 
  • Google has its own website with videos dedicated to you, parents who want your family to be safe online. You might find some of its real-world advice useful. 
(B) Education Sites for Parents
(C) General Parenting Sites
  • Services supporting families in Clondalkin — a compilation of services it's good to know about
  • National Parents Council Primary (www.npc.ie)
  • Pointers for Parents from Parentline.ie (these are the people you can call when you're in need of a chat on the phone with someone who truly 'gets it' when your child is causing you stress)(low-call 1890 927 277; more info and services at parentline.ie 
  • You might like this story from National Public Radio in the USA about the art and science of parenting tweens and teens — and how it sure ain't easy!
    (Listen to the story and read the accompanying article.)
    (The top tips and insights I see are: "(1) it's not just a case of raging hormones. Teens may actually not be able to help their reactions due to dramatic changes in their rapidly developing brains; (2) the first line of defense for parents is to stay calm. Tell the teen to just go to bed and that you will deal with consequences tomorrow. Ask them to write a note of self-reflection — about their regrets, why they went off track, what they would do differently if given another chance, and what skills they might need to avoid the situation in the first place; Based on the quality of this self-critique, Kastner says, parents can then determine discipline or consequences. (3) Steering clear of emotions is difficult, even for adults. But Kastner says it's something parents just have to learn how to do. There are some obvious tools: Step outside for a moment. Take a breath. Think mindfulness. (4) And forget having the last word, she says. "Let them have the last word," Kastner says about the kids. "A lot of extended arguments that happen with children are happening because we take the bait," Kastner says. Parents respond to attacks, get angry when called names and end up co-miserable with their kids. We need to let that riffraff go," she says, "and cease-and-desist because it's going nowhere.""
I'll add to this list throughout the year, so do please come back to it from time to time (maybe bookmark this site now?)